this just in

one semester is going down and there are only seven more to go! Lord knows how relieved i am. i thought i wouldn't survive but just the thought of taking up communication arts makes everything seem worth the flood, the money and the sleepless nights! what is it about? passion. and broadcasting is about transparency. today, the broadcasting power of media is everything but oblivious. it's everywhere as if it's the most authoritative non-human whatever! but ok, what do i have to say about it? broadcasting guides lives. imagine communities without it. we'd have no source of updates and all necessary information. we'd have no idea about wars in the middle east, about the latest trips of our politicians and such. but more often than not, broadcasting becomes more irrelevant especially to the younger audience. maybe because they choose not to care about the important facts and figures. but that shouldn't be the case. broadcasting, for the youth, is more of an entertainment. it's saddening because more and more, we become (because we choose) to be indifferent about what's going on. we grow numb to what's disturbing others until it hits us face-to-face and when this happens, it's either too late or too much to bare. but ask us the latest fashion trend, the hippest place to be and the coolest gadget on market, we'd answer with out blinking our eyes. broadcasting introduced us to materialism. it's not that i'm against it. i'm soo not 'cause it's really a great help to us. we just don't let it help us. (was i clear?) and as a probable media practitioner, it's my dream to be influential to the youth. i dream that they be more aware of what's really happening and what's missing in this world: a little care.

TAHO.

Sa kabataang Pinoy, mapa-emo, mapa-hiphop, nerd ka man o drama queen, walang nag-de-deny na masarap kumain ng TAHO. It makes me smile to look back to what seemed like a year of time pressure, pissing off and hoping. But you see, it has only been more or less than a month – a long one, that is – of pimples, eye bags, “stress marks” (I grow little warts on my forehead and skin allergies on my hands when super frazzled), temper loss mixed with a rich amount of new friends, trust, camaraderie, honesty and growing up. From daydreaming to brainstorming to doing down to this moment that I’m making this entry, I’ve been overwhelmed by just the thought of this project. Man, I thought it was nothing far from easy. I was wrong. I remembered back in my high school freshman year, we were asked to make a magazine individually. How funny this is: my cover picture was that of my elementary graduation! Talk about inexperienced! Haha! I still keep the original and only copy in my cabbie and every time I get a chance to flip through it, I feel more than proud. It was my first time and I got a 98. I didn’t have to worry about money, then; nor did I make myself busy with promoting my project. I had no problems working alone or scheduling everything. I didn’t have to compromise with anyone but myself. But this one? This magazine production class project thing? This is major! On the first day, there I was, assigned as publisher, having no idea what to do and how to start. I was like, “What the hell is a publisher?” to myself. It was a big shock but miraculously, I didn’t feel that unprepared. It was like I didn’t know it was coming but I kind of already felt how it would feel once it came. It’s a big blur at the start, a really big blur. Nobody else was my shock absorber but myself. I had to make the best out of this. So, we had our positions, our timeline, our to-do’s and all. We were all lined up for the whole month up to the date of release. I felt confident ‘cause it seemed like we were doing great. Hearing complaints from friends in other blocks, I’d just smile at them and imagine a speech bubble pop from my head saying, “Phew!” They were harassed too much. Unlike us, we were doing great. Then, there we were, face to face with the calendar, the ticking of time, the emptiness of our budget and the threat of failure. I was so scared for the whole class. I didn’t want them to feel like I didn’t pour out my efforts. This isn’t MY grade and glory alone. It’s OURS. And it’s not as if I was all to blame. It’s not completely my fault. But I knew everything was my responsibility. I had to cry. I had to call my boyfriend late at night and curse the world. I had to act like a 5-year-old over the phone while talking to my mom. I had to talk with so much worry and pity on myself. I had to think hard for remedies to problems that are not even clear. This is so not like high school! I missed home. I missed just lying in bed between my folks and just watch TV up until 12am even if it was a school night and Physics quiz are coming up the next day. I missed my high school friends who would fret about the same things as I did. I missed everything and anything that is yesterday. I missed being in my comfort zone. The fact that I was working—err—leading a new group, trusting became an issue for me. And I knew it was, too, for them. It’s part of growing up, though. It was hard to contain all the headaches they were causing, all the waiting that gave way to mental torture. Back then, when I get pissed, I’d say it. Now? I had to contain?! I felt rather alone. It’s not the term but it’s the closest that I can get. In the long run, I knew I HAD TO BE STRONG. (Drama much? Haha!) But yeah, I had to be physically, emotionally and spiritually strong. Super. There’s this 41 straight hours that I was awake just to rush the layout editing and during those 41 very tiring hours, everything felt like I grew up overnight. This was it. This is what made me motivated. I’d say to the whole class, “Guys, let’s not fret. Eto na ‘to. College life.” In high school, we used to kid around with the phrase, “High school is a big vagina!” We never knew what it meant. We just thought it was irrelevantly funny. Now I tell them, if high school is a big vagina, then college is like having sex. They’d ask me why and I’d simply answer, “Pain and pleasure intertwined.” To my blockmates, I knew it was tough! We all had to pretend like we never worried. But look at us – honest and worry-free. I’m proud to say that we didn’t have the nerve to compare ourselves. I’m proud to brag that we didn’t go beyond what was right. We fought with a clean and clear. Thanks for the memories. This is exactly how I imagined college to be and it's just starting. To Ma’am Faye, thank you for teaching us how to fix our lives. You’d always say, “Malaki na kayo.” True. And everytime you say that, I personally feel more grown up. This campus is not our playground. There’s no nap time anymore. There are no maps to follow, just our instincts to trust. To God, You are our true publisher. Enough said.

stop over on the highway

5:59am: 1329 Antonio St., Sampaloc, Manila. i was lying in bed disturbed by the alarm from my camera phone equipped with Bluetooth application, powered by Java, and is registered to unlimited texting. 10:17am: Computer No. 43, Internet Section, UST Miguel De Benavides Library. here i am blogging, using fast internet that is, although non-wi-fi, very convinient. whatever happens next, im sure, will have something to do with "The Highway." but what is the highway? is it this long, connecting road leading to the northern or southern part of luzon where toll gates ask for a fee greater than a satisfying full lunch? is it this humungous concrete where bumper-to-bumper catastrophes occur, if not daily, hourly because of fast driven automobiles? is it this array of lined, asphalted lanes that bring peoples either together or apart? whatever. it's obvious that i'm pertaining to what irving fang considered as the information highway. yes, that highway. uh-huh. the one you link to satellites, computers, the oh-so-reliable internet, those original--and err--pirated (read: guilt) dvd's, and who can forget what Filipinos are known for, the cellphone. late last night, i was browsing through the copy of fang's book. and id love to quote mark poster, "I cannot consider myself centered in my rational, autonomous subjectivity or bordered by a defined ego, but I am disrupted, subverted and dispersed across social space." is this highway beneficial? does it do good? hear me out. (based on the three important areas of the information highway.) 1. it provides new media and more communication choices. duh! with just the birth of the already obsolete N5110, we've all obviously observed the enlarged capacity for communication. with the development of e-mail (now G-mail even!), we've been able to talk to aliens from another continent. with the dvds and cds and such, we've come to acquire movie moments that we can actually pause. fun, yeah? but think. back then, when mobile phones were not in use, how did courtship take place? face-to-face. how did people do business? personally. how did scholars study? in classrooms. where did we enjoy blockbusters? movie houses. with the aid of the birth of new technology in the sixth information revolution, we've all observed the decreasing need for personal contact. what happened to love letters? we now call them love quotes. sure, these do have advantages. i totally agree! i have nothing against them anyway. it's just sad (for me, at least) to see how people begin to neglect the value of actually being visible. you can never be too careful. 2. it is interactive. as we have learned to use these innovations, we've began to embrace control over what is presented. besides, with the use of internet, it's not that hard to do homework given a million of choices, right? with the wide range of music genres, films and such, we learned to choose what we actually want. we are given a choice, a chance to participate. and i love that fact. not only does it make us more competitive in terms of global knowledge that WAS only accessible by perspiring your way through piles of dusty, hardbound, not to mention heavy books, it makes us literate of knowledge--much more easily. 3. it makes distant connections to personal activities. we hated waking up early to go to school. we grew lazy of dressing up for the supermarket (maybe because we'd love to be in pajamas all day). we learned to be not impulsive of watching movies in theaters for more than a hundred bucks thinking they wouldn't be worth it. activities became handy. as in handy. school was done through computer monitors (shout out to EdTech:D). shopping already has eBay written all over it. and the movies, who could not love dvd's. convinience is the word! yes? i give much thanks to the people who have thought of these new ideas. they're genuine great minds thinking alike! and we, who get to use these, though we, too, think alike, are actually, at some point, could think great as well. we love technology. we love networking. we love easy access to things that were not that accessible. we love being in the know. but sometimes, we go over board of embracing too much of these that we tend to let go of the value of humans. nothing against technology, again. it is confusing to think of the irony that while the purpose of this highway is to fastly connect all people of all races, age and sex together, we unconsciously go otherwise. we go apart. taking this course, i've learned that media users were supposed to be self-defined. probably, that's my favorite idea. i've been attending media seminars in high school that were held in major universities and all they had to say was that media was deceiving. now, i prove them wrong. it (media/mass communications/technological innovations) wouldn't be deceiving if you wouldn't want to be deceived. we should be wise, responsible, careful of our actions. we do not let irrational things shape us because come to think of it, we have shaped them in the first place. is there a chance to alter this irony? 11:05am: still sitting in front of Computer No. 43 inside the UST Miguel De Benavides Library's Internet Section, thinking. pondering. God bless us all.

war of the worlds. ooh. im scared.

it was 10pm two weeks ago at an internet shop in laon laan. i was in front of the monitor, my chin was resting on the palm of my right hand, headphones were stuck to my ears, and i was smiling. i'm sure it's not because of someone i'm talking with over yahoo! messenger. moreover, not because of the boys celebrating dota victory late at night. (though they sure hell are funny! don't they have classes? they're still in uniform!) anyway, it was because of some old audio clip i was listening to over the net. at first, i thought it was nonsense. i mean, COME ON! aliens? get real, baby! they had all these effects on air: panic, panic and panic. i was getting pissed by their, should i say, innocence(?). all the while, i thought it was for real. mind you, i was really raising my eyebrows! i thought it was an authentic-super-panic-aliens-are-here-to-take-over-our-planet-Earth kind of radio broadcast. but, no. it was a radio play (props to Google for this!). if i hadn't searched for a background of the clip about four days later, i would've proved myself correct that it was the 30's men being gullible again. and so i have also found a script of the program. i took a second round on the mp3 file. no more brow-raising this time! and it's now that i didn't have the last laugh. here are my critics: on events presented, it was timely. very. since this was played on the 30th of october in the year 1938, eve of halloween, people were, i bet, vulnerable to the idea of celestial beings (especially those that come in big steel egg-shaped whatevers). sure, you can let aliens mingle with draculas and headless dead. how easter bunny-like cant they get? *smiles sarcastically* there was even a line in the radio play that said, “this could be the last broadcast on radio…we’ll be here ‘til the end.” save me from the drama, please! also, consider that this was the time when people were warned of the outbreak of the second world war. so yeah, save them from the drama! according to a newspaper article, a week after the broadcast, people in new jersey (setting of the play) did actually go out of their houses. some were still in their pj’s even considering that this was aired at 8pm. i bet actors of the radio play (orson welles and the mercury theater) had fun while doing this but i also bet they felt bad after putting on much more worry to families in homes now that everyone’s under the scare of world war ii. on presentation of events, it wasn’t very different from how they would usually do broadcasts, especially in emergency situations. they did have live music from orchestras and those breaking news (think: “this just in…”), which was an unobvious plus for the scare factor! according to a website i checked (sorry, i forgot the exact address), writers of the program, who adopted “war of the worlds” by h. g. wells written 40 years prior to the radio play, intended their script to be like an actual broadcast! so duh, it was scary (at that time) and ridiculous (now). but sadly, this broadcast, that website also stated, diminished the public’s trust for radio since they were—hmm—fooled? on the presenters of the events, the characters are fit for the play: a field broadcaster who dies, an on-studio broadcaster who also dies, a professor who gets lost and is suddenly found after what they say ten minutes or so but is actually just about two minutss, an emcee who does not panic much and a crowd that goes ballistic inaudibly. this might hold sarcasm but i did appreciate the role of each. they were “really there.” i mean, how they presented the script and acted out their parts with matching thugs and oh-i’m-going-to-die-but-i’ll-fight-for the broadcast. you can say it was surreal (taking our generations context) but it WAS good. all good. sadly, just good. critically, there you go. and more… little did i know that music then was played live and it was played by an orchestra. very different from now, music is played straight from computers and no matter how daunting situations can get, they’d still play the tango song. i didn’t know they actually visited guests for the show, not invite them over to the studio. well, maybe they did, but not for this one. plus, i didn’t know radio plays dated back to the 1930’s. listeners weren’t interacting with the announcers not like now when we could text message or call the announcers, even befriend them! but of course, back then, they didn’t have that innovation. maybe (again). i also wondered if they had fm and am radio stations. (what does fm and am mean, anyway?) all in all, if i were on of the listeners who tuned in to their broadcast, i’d probably go out in my pj’s and panic along with my neighbors. this is the eve of halloween and we’re at the brink of world war ii! now, you’re telling me that aliens are thinking of having a forever sleepover? no way, jose! yet again, it’s just a radio broadcast. no, i’m sorry. IT IS THE RADIO BROADCAST that proved the worth of the radio industry for emergence with its created illusions aided with music, ideas that are life-inspired and merely the purpose for mass communications.

Below the Belt

i was raised in a conservative Christian family. an only girl. an only child, in fact. all attention was on me and my brain and upbringing was, well, more or less "ok" to the standard of the society. i understood the society, too. the do's and don't's in gatherings, how i should respect the elders, how i should be this and that. i grew up normally, in front of books and the television set. i had Bananas in Pajamas Fever. but later on, i didn't seem to notice that society has been welcoming this new trend... the women's printed underwear. *smirks* since when did people care about what you wear under your pants except in beach and summer settings? sure, there are ads for the endless comfort, the perfect fit. that was then, though. now, they have to come with statements written all over your behind. think kiss marks printed on your ass. talk about subliminal. or maybe not. i asked a friend about it, long before. "ano bang point nyan? e hindi naman nakikita kung stripes ba o polka dotted?!" "ano ka ba?! confidence lang yan!" "ha?" "wala lang. pangpataas lang ng lebel ng kumpiyansa!" so i tried to buy a pair. and i tell you, it does work. i didn't buy one because the society said so. i did because i chose to. the difference? i didn't follow because i had to. in fact, i didn't follow. what to these advertisements and printed underwears have to do with what i have to wear below the belt? it is always a personal choice. self-defined.

Was Dan Wrong?

"You know, Sophie, what matters in the end is what you believe in.", said Langdon. But most people didn't seem to notice. The feedbacks were rather odd to me. I wasn't fed of any idea what the book was. I thought it was some kind of an encyclopedia or something because friends would tell and retell the oh-so-unbelievably-cool-did-you-know's but not the context of the novel itself. I knew there was something more to that from reading Brown's other novel, "Angels & Demons." I was more or less intrigued. So, Valentine's of 2006, I asked for a paperback copy of Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code" and "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Golden from my parents. I set aside the Japanese controversies and chose to find out what the Catholic Church was busy about. So, I took my book, stared at the front cover, said a prayer (to keep my faith intact) and flipped through page one with a note that says all information in the novel are authentic. And the rest was unwritten history. It wasn't bad in my opinion. It's rather good, in fact. The structure was undeniably irresistable. The twist was complex but relative. The morals were a bit unnoticed. But all in all, it's a good buy. For real. Still I thought to myself: What's the fuzz all about? Why was the Church totally against this book? Why was Dan Brown accused of this and that and threatened of other things? Was he wrong? Was Dan Wrong? What was the Church so afraid of? Or why were they mad? Outraged? Why and What? If I were part of the Church, as in a nun or such, I guess I wouldn't mind reading it. But I'm not any of that. I am not religious but I am faithful. (I believe that has nothing to do with my love for reading, right?) Did they ever consider their faith, not their reputation as a Universal Church? The thing is, they don't have much authority anymore to tell people that the book was a total lie. Why? Maybe because it's not a lie or maybe because they couldn't make the people listen. The Church has weakened. And this book, I think, made them more inferior (which shouldn't be the case). Should they blame mass media for not prohibiting a book as such? Should they sue Dan Brown for making a living and entertaining avid readers through his writing? Maybe Brown was wrong. Maybe. I respect the Church (and other people siding them). I do. All I am saying is, the book shouldn't bother them much, if, in all caps, THEY TRUST THEIR FAITH.